Wednesday, August 3, 2011

How to Succeed on Safari

1. Steer your boat clear of hippos. When threatened, they will use their tail to fling their poo at you, and they have a good 10 meter range.
2. Just because a crocodile looks like it's asleep doesn't mean it really is.
3. Always keep your camera leash around your wrist or, better yet, snapped onto your newly purchased Uganda bracelet.
4. Don't put your little brother in charge of the camera. All he'll do is take 10 min videos of birds buzzing around the ears of cape buffalo.
5. Elephants ALWAYS have the right of way.
6. If you play Ultimate Frisbee in front of your lodge you can simultaneously get some exercise and entertain your security guard.
7. Watching a lightning storm powerful enough to act like a strobe light and freeze-frame the rain so you can see the individual droplets is totally worth no electricity.
8. Make sure your guide is secretly a lion tracker.
9. If a lion starts to pace towards you, listen to your lion tracker and skedaddle back to the bus quick as you can. 100 meters is close enough to get a good picture from in there.
10. The baby kob are really cute and no amount of wishing will make a lion stalk and kill one in front of you.
11. Don't be afraid to slip your shoes off and run a little wild. After all, you're in the Great Rift Valley, the place where running was born.


  1. Ha ha I thought some people might think that. :) I'm not going to lie though, the only thing that would've been better than seeing a lion is seeing a lion attacking something.

  2. But not something cute and little... Anyway, it sounds like you had an adventure whether it was slightly cruel or not.

  3. Ha ha ha ok fair enough, it was only my twisted nature show side of me that wanted that to happened. If it had actually happened I probably would've screamed and mourned with the rest of them. Ha ha ha thanks, it was fun.