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Maybe it's Not Meant to Be: On Becoming Dr. Nielson

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There is a story we tell that goes like this: a person has a dream. They have always known what career they want to pursue. They work hard. They have some successes and failures, at some points they aren’t sure if it will work out, there are bends in the road they didn’t foresee. But in the end they achieve their dream.  There is another story we tell: a person doesn’t know what to do with their life. They go to college with no idea what to major in, but then they take a class that they like or do an internship they find meaningful, and so they find a major that fits. They still don’t know what career they want, but they feel drawn towards a certain direction, so they head in it. And eventually they sit on a career panel telling students that they didn’t always know what they wanted to do, but life has turned out better than they could have imagined.  These stories may seem like opposites, but they share a common thread: for both people, there is a sense of rightness to their chosen pa
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Backbones, Meds, & Continuance: Hope in 2022

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  Another year, another theme come and gone. As I wrote about in April, my theme this year was Hope. So here at the end of 2022 are three more things I’ve learned about hope: Hope has a stronger backbone than I thought.  When I started this year, I thought of hope as a lightweight, something fanciful, built on a cloud of optimism and just as sturdy. I chose it as a theme because I needed light, any light I could find. But I’ve come to see hope as more robust, as something that allows you to move forward rather than sink into despair or apathy. Hope can give you legs to stand on, a tenacity to continue even when you don’t know the outcome. I love this description of hope that I found (via LDS Christian scholar Melissa Inouye) in a speech by Chieko Okazaki , a former leader in my church: “I think of hope as a modest but very tough everyday virtue, an ordinary but resilient virtue that is both gentle and beautiful. It is an unassuming but powerful force for good that will greatly increase
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Psalm 23 - A psalm of the sheep

PSALM 23 1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. Psalm 23 - A psalm of the sheep [1] God is my shepherd, he’ll always take care of me [2] He brings me to places that are green and alive, full of water and peace. [3] He makes me whole. When I follow him, I walk in goodness and love. [4] Sometimes we walk through darkness, but because I’m with you, I’ll be less afraid; I know you have power a
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Psalm 95 - A psalm of thanksgiving

PSALM 95 1 O come, let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. 2 Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms. 3 For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. 4 In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also. 5 The sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land. 6 O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the Lord our maker. 7 For he is our God; and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. To day if ye will hear his voice, 8 Harden not your heart, as in the provocation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness: 9 When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my work. 10 Forty years long was I grieved with this generation, and said, It is a people that do err in their heart, and they have not known my ways: 11 Unto whom I sware in my wrath that they should not enter into my re
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Psalm 104 - A psalm for creation

PSALM 104 1 Bless the Lord, O my soul. O Lord my God, thou art very great; thou art clothed with honour and majesty. 2 Who coverest thyself with light as with a garment: who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain: 3 Who layeth the beams of his chambers in the waters: who maketh the clouds his chariot: who walketh upon the wings of the wind: 4 Who maketh his angels spirits; his ministers a flaming fire: 5 Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever. 6 Thou coveredst it with the deep as with a garment: the waters stood above the mountains. 7 At thy rebuke they fled; at the voice of thy thunder they hasted away. 8 They go up by the mountains; they go down by the valleys unto the place which thou hast founded for them. 9 Thou hast set a bound that they may not pass over; that they turn not again to cover the earth. 10 He sendeth the springs into the valleys, which run among the hills. 11 They give drink to every beast of the field: the wild asse
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Psalm 69 translation - A psalm for depression

PSALM 69 To the chief Musician upon Shoshannim, A Psalm of David. 1 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. 2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. 3 I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God. 4 They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away. 5 O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee. 6 Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord God of hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel. 7 Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face. 8 I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother’s children. 9 For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached th
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Translation of Psalm 51 - A psalm for healing from sin

This year, as my church studied the Hebrew Bible, I started a regular practice of doing "translations" of the Psalms. Inspired by my dear friend Marissa Compton Jones' , these translations are a response to Adam Miller's call to "translate these books [of scripture] again. Word by word, line by line, verse by verse, chapter by chapter, God wants the whole thing translated once more, and this time he wants it translated into your native tongue, inflected by your native concerns, and written in your native flesh" ( Letters to a Young Mormon , 27). These translations then are not from Hebrew, but rather are my own renderings based on the KJV, and influenced by my own pondering and fear, worry and hope. I'll be posting one each Sunday from now until Christmas, and including a little recording of myself reading my translation. I've found reading them out loud to be a helpful and meditative practice, and I hope that listening can offer you something too. T
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